So wrong

I have a confession.

And an apology to make.

I have long been of the belief that tights are not trousers.  I am a fan of tights.  I wear tights often.  I have no prejudices against a good pair of tights.  But, I hate to break it to you, tight-wearers of the world, but they are for underneath.

They are the last line of defence in the case of a rogue wind blowing your skirt up or when that cute dress you’ve bought is leaving too little to the imagination.  They’re also an essential in the wardrobe of mothers who need to chase and stoop over their children and all the junk they toss on the floor.  This is assuming, of course, that having the world see your knickers is not your thing.  If it is, then tights are probably not for you anyway.

Also useful in the fight against goosebumpy skin and chilled legs, tights have their place (underneath) but they are not, and should never be mistaken for, trousers.

There’s that saying about how children, drunks and leggings have the monopoly on honesty.  Tights tell the truth, my friends, and often that truth is best not publicly aired.

Just in case you need convincing, this handy chart is very helpful:


Maybe it’s a sign of my age (middle-aged, just about, yes, thank you) but I am wary of you if you are wearing tights as your top layer of clothing.  I may be wrong (I’m not wrong) and of course, wear what you like because freedom of expression and to be comfortable and all that, but I will be right over here, wondering what the hell you are thinking.

Up until recently, activewear has fallen into a similar category as tights.  Well, let’s face it, most activewear bottoms are basically fancy tights.  And I never really got the appeal.  I mean, why does one need skin-tight pants in order to exercise effectively?

I’ll tell you why.

Activewear pants are awesome.

I tried some on just to see what the fuss was about and just like that, hooked.  Love at first wearing.  I confess that I am an activewear convert.  I have plans to acquire more pants. And matching tops.  And perhaps new shoes too.

For starters, they’re practical.  They don’t ride up, or fall down, or twist around.  They don’t have seams to rub together when you walk.  I think the lack of friction has shaved a good minute or so off my walking time.

Also, they’re quite holdy-inny.  That’s a definite positive.  OK, that’s the main thing I like. Holdy-inny and upward-lifty.  A bit like those super support underwear, except you don’t feel like your organs are being crushed inside your body when you wear them.

Activewear enthusiasts, I have judged you harshly.  And I was wrong.

I must add, (and I know of at least a couple of you who will be sighing with relief at this addition) that my conversion does not stretch to activewear becoming everywear.

Are you currently, were you just, or are you about to be active?  If the answer is a negative, then you best put some proper clothes on.  We’re back to tights are not trousers.  It’s bike shorts at the coffee shop territory.  The undies, undies, togs issue all over again.


OK, to be fair, bike shorts at the coffee shop is really in a category of its own.  It’s much, much worse.  But you get the idea.




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